


Red Phone Ringing: A Mycroft's In Love Interlude

by lyricalsoul



Series: Mycroft's In Love [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Insecure!Lestrade, M/M, Rants, all talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricalsoul/pseuds/lyricalsoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The red phone rings. Misunderstandings and ranting take place. Mycroft doesn't get a word in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Phone Ringing: A Mycroft's In Love Interlude

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IBegToDreamAndDiffer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBegToDreamAndDiffer/gifts).



> For asking - begging, really. And for making my crappy morning into a good one. Probably not what you wanted, but you know how these two are.

 

“Gregory?”

“Your red phone is ringing. Been ringing for the past fifty minutes, and it’s driving me crazy. I’m not stupid, you know, despite what your brother thinks.”

“Gregory-“

“If this is a test, one would have to presume that I’ve passed at this point.”

“It’s not-“

“I can take a hint, really. I’ve overstayed my welcome, but let myself be lulled by your fucking smooth voice, your goddamned posh charm, highly polished shoes, and the promise of dim sum. How pathetic am I, thinking you’d actually be interested in me? Sherlock is right. He's always right.”

“If you would just-“

“I’m gathering up all the evidence, throwing your fucking decadent sheets and your soft washcloths in your high-class washer, and am heading home. My mum was right - no one is up to any good after two in the morning.”

“You’ve got it all-“

“I’m a detective, and should know better. I see it all the time. Smooth talking man, desperate recipient, and I fell for it! I should arrest myself. Because you can't just… Mycroft, you can’t just do those things, say those things, and then just...aw hell, I’m turning into a drama queen. That’s it then. You can write in your diary how you had a bit of rough, and have a good laugh with the chaps at your club. I’m under no illusions as to what I have to offer to a bloke like you.”

“Gregory, if you’ll just lis-“

“Foolish, really, and you’d think that at my age… where do you keep the laundry soap? Ah, never mind. Of course, it’s behind the fake paneling. Why wouldn’t it be? I’m surprised some chap didn’t pop out of the cupboard and take over the washing for me.”

“Why would-“

“Worlds apart. Nothing to be done for it, really. Why does this machine have twenty-nine settings? I’ll probably open it and end up on a journey with the Doctor. Can’t even find the ‘on’ switch on this bloody thing!”

“Please, Gregory, you have it all-“

“You use…Tide? But some special formula…oh, that’s rich. Fancy label with your name on it. Too posh for regular stuff, so you probably have the company make up a special concoction for your smooth skin…oh, god… why couldn’t you have just …now I’ll have to live with the memories, Mycroft! Memories of your skin…arms dotted with freckles, ginger hair in such unexpected places… soft hair, too… your lips and tongue all over me. I'll never be able to get rid of the taste of you... this is to be my punishment, for daring to hope that I could find someone. But now-“

“GREGORY AMBROSE LESTRADE!”

“…”

“Now then. Have I your attention?”

“How did you-“

“Cease talking.”

“No one knows my mid-“

“Cease.”

“…”

“Now that I have your full attention, Gregory, please listen very carefully. Do not, under any circumstances, put my sheets in the wash. Nor the towels. Understand?”

“But-“

“Confine yourself to simple responses, such as ‘yes’ and ‘no’.”

“Yes.”

“Second, you are wrong in every aspect of your rant, so I will not deign to address any of the more…sane points, save two.”

“Wh- ahem. Yes?”

“I use that detergent because my skin is rather sensitive. Because it cannot always be found, I have a special order in with the company.”

“Ah…yes.”

“And it’s Sherlock ringing the red phone. He does it all the time to vex me.”

“No.”

“Yes. And changing the number serves no purpose other than to make him more determined.”

“Um…”

“We can talk about this later, Gregory. I will be there in five minutes. With dim sum, and a demonstration as to why you should trust that my intentions toward you are pure, and that everything I have said to you is true. Since you, a _detective inspector_ , are having trouble following the evidence, perhaps I should include a PowerPoint presentation to reiterate the salient points. This usually works on my more...stubborn agents. Bit of rough, indeed.”

“Mycroft…”

*click*

 

 


End file.
